Episode 102 Him
by Fullelven
Summary: Cursed visions of Malak have ravaged Revan's heart and mind since that special encounter with Carth just a few nights before. How will this effect their relationship?
1. Subliminal Affection

**Title: Episode 1.02: Him**

**Chapter: 1, Subliminal Affliction**

**Author: CarthsLostPadawan**

**Summary: The events of her first time with Carth leave her shaken and Revan's memories returning continue to create a problem for her.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Carth, Revan, or any other character or theme from Knights of the Old Republic. However, the way I play Revan and the back plot of a relationship between herself and Malak is solely mine. Though, during this chapter, you may see some ideas Darkwolfie passed on to me.**

The Dantooine Enclave was as empty and desolate as ever and it didn't help Revan to think of the fact that it was partially her fault that it had been destroyed. There couldn't have been anything she could have done to stop it, there was no warning with Malak's attack... no logic. Then again, he'd always been all brute and no strategy. Every move Revan had made during both the Mandalorian and Jedi Civil War before she was captured by the Jedi Council was stratigic to save the Republic.

Laigreks lurked deep in these ruins, killing most that came to salvage and the few who seek refuge after their houses were destroyed in the attack. The hiss and hum of an orange-bladed lightsaber brought life to the desolate halls of the lone Enclave, erecting screeches from the poisoness little buggers that roamed the halls.

Revan's boots were covered with the horrible yellow goo the abominations called blood, bits of it splattered all over her blue Jedi Knight robes. Her heart was still still calling her to battle and her soul cried out for reformation. It was only in slaying these slimy wyrms that she could find peace.

_You slay those poor defenseless creatures just as easily and guiltless as you had me._ A mechanical voice spoke from behind her, sending cold chills down her spine that rocked her to her very core. She tried to brush it off, yet ended up slicing viciously through an overzealous Laigrek causing it's insides to splatter the wall.

"The fact that I destroyed a monster I created and saved the Republic is easily enough to help me sleep at night." She replied coldly to the ghastly voice as she Force Pushed a couple of the beasts back down the hall and created a Force Whirlwind around them.

_All this anger towards an innocent party? C'mon Poppet, you said it yourself that you created me. Why are you angry with me when I was just following our love, your lead... blind as I was?_ She could feel him behind her now, closer than before. The whirlwind had died down, but the Laigreks didn't attack now. The ones she'd missed stopped dead in their tracks as well, some even retreated. The hairs on the back of Revan's neck perked up with a supernatural air.

"You're not real. Just another Force Illusion, a puppet of my memories haunting me. I live in the light now, I'm not what I was then." She defended weakly. Why was her pulse quickening, her hands trembling. Two strong arms wrapped around her stomach pulling her gently backwards to rest against his non-expanding chest, a clammy chilled cheek grazed the rosy flesh of her face.

_Revan, I'm just as real as I was when we first met in the halls of this accursed Enclave. You feel me now, just as you did then when I would hold you in my arms and we'd watch the sunset together surreptitiously while the Masters would be coaching another boring class that the two of us mastered. To say that you live in the light now is a lie, because it was your rebellious darkness then that allured me. As long as you hold that darkness, I will be here to follow as your most humble servant. Just like old times. The closer you get to the Light, Revan, the greater your shadow will become. And when it comes to that, will it be me catching me when you fall on your return home, or that blundering fool of an Admiral?_

A burst of blue exploded from Revan like a geyser's erruption that was way overdue, showering the Enclave halls with an angry Force energy that burned and singed the Laigreks like fire. Revan screamed though no ears, including her own, heard it. She fell to her knees next to her forgotten lightsaber she had dropped when Malak had first held her, spent. The light faded, her body overcome with a severe shiver... she couldn't move. Without warning she retched hard on the floor, the feeling of pain -physical and mental- returning to her like a slow groan from within.

The halls echoed emptily, sadly even, as she made her lonely pilgrimage through them. She held herself as if to keep her sanity in during her aimless trek through the once familiar corridors. It wasn't until she reached the Room of a Thousand Fountains that she actually acknowledged that she had even moved at all.

Sitting down on the corner of the broken and forgotten Fountain, uncontrollable greif overcame her accompanied with memories of long ago. The tears forced themselves to the surface, bringing with them yet another pained recollection of this fallen Enclave.

_"C'mon Revan! You're a complete Force genius. You can skip out on one class to come hang out with me. They won't be any the wiser. It's not like you're going to get behind or anything." Malak coaxed as he drug a protesting Revan through the somewhat solemn Enclave. Their voices were down, complete whispers as they half-jogged through the scarcely populated hallway._

_The day had been horrible for Revan, Master Vrook pulling her out in front of the class to parade her around like some kind of Force freak. She didn't like all that attention, the worship and sometimes jealousy of her peers who were all older than her made her uncomfortable. Sometimes she wished she wasn't so talented so she could practice with her own age group. But at least Malak would be there to keep her company afterwords. "Malak, not today... please! I just want to go back to my room and sleep."_

_Of course, Malak ignored and continued dragging her down another two corridors until she found herself face to face with the Fountains. She'd only heard about the place, and never once in the almost thirteen years of staying here had she ever seen them in person. Her time was always spent with classes, studying, meditating, and training until she couldn't move anymore. But these... they were just... "Beautiful."_

_Malak turned to her, smiling triumphantly having finally gotten her out of that glum mood, only to be shot down as he found her in tears. "Revan... what did I do? I was just trying to cheer you up." Revan, hand over her mouth, continued sobbing silently as she sat down on the edge. Her fair flesh was soon turned pink from the saltine waterfalls making their was down her cheeks. She shook her head, refusing to accept a break in her controlled emotions._

_Malak shifted uncomfortably, an odd frustration washing over him. He was angry, not at her, but at himself. It was wierd, but he had this strong urge to protect her and now, without knowing what was wrong, he couldn't do his job. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'll just let you get back to your room or whatever." Malak turned to leave but stopped as a tiny voice called to him._

_"I'm not beautiful." She said in a tone so quiet that he had to really focus just to notice she said anything at all. Malak eyed her oddly, he'd never really thought about it before. She did have those shining midnight blue eyes with hypnotic silver flecks in them. And it was kind of awesome the way her hair naturally grew that patch of magenta in front against the rest of her light brownish-auburn locks. Malak hadn't noticed that he'd been staring and his silence was all the confirmation Revan needed. "See! I'm hideous!"_

_Malak snapped back to reality, taking a seat quickly next to his best friend. "You're not hideous… not to me." He tried hopefully. She stopped sobbing some for a moment, but didn't look up. Absentmindedly, Malak slid a hand over and cupped hers supportively._

"_It's not fair though! The beauty of these Fountains being contained in this stuffy Enclave where even love isn't allowed. These Fountains are eternal, but none of us are. Our legacies end within these walls because we aren't allowed to love and pass on our talents to another!" Revan stood then, leaving Malak to finally pick up on the fact that he had been holding her hand and blushed. "Malak… I someone to think I'm as beautiful as these fountains… I want them to love me and I be allowed to love them in return. And maybe… just maybe… I want to be remembered by someone other than the Force when I die."_

_Revan started off towards the dorms, her hands shaking. Where Malak had held her hand, a warm feeling resinated and her palm had started to sweat. He watched on helplessly after her feeling dejected. "I think your beautiful… you're admired… and I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to."_

A small commotion brought Revan from her thoughts as she frantically tried to hide her tears. "Forgive me for interrupting, Miss. I would have believed the Laigreks had caused this place to be empty. I didn't mean to frighten you." A soft aristocratic voice called from where he was trying to pick up the datapads that he had dropped in front of her.

Revan knelt, helping him gather the mess and half-smiled. "No harm done, I was just… thinking." She replied looking back brieftly at the silent Fountains before handing him what she'd picked up.

The blond man before her grinned politely and hurried to stand so he may help her up. "Forgive my manners. I am Mical, a scientist for the Republic. Though my peers vote me more of a historian." He bowed slightly causing another datapad to fall. Before he could move though, Revan caught it and began grabbing some of his load from him.

"Let me help you… Mical." She began as he tried to protest. "Where are you taking these?"

"The library, Miss. Really, I can get them." Revan looked at him like he was out of his mind with all these manners, noticing how his silver-blue eyes shinned behind his spotless wire-rimmed glasses. He looked very studious… and familiar at that. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough there to trigger a random memory from Revan, so she was stuck once again in the dark.

"It's no problem, really." Revan took off instinctively down an intricate set of halls and corridors as if it was just yesterday she had been there. "So, a historian for the Republic, eh? Why are they interested in the Enclave? There's not much left here after Malak's attack." Revan's heart skidded for a moment as his name left her lips, but outwardly she didn't miss a beat.

"The Republic hopes to find out what exactly happened and ascertain from it any information the Jedi may have been keeping secret. And to preserve the teachings, of course." He sat the pads down on a nearby table, motioning for her to do the same. The library was large and the architecture magnificent, hardly touched by the attack. Yet, neither one looked around at it like it was the first time there.

"I doubt the Jedi knew Malak was coming. His attack was a surprise to us all!" Revan defended a little more passionately than she had meant. Her cheeks blushed with her embarrasement , though Mical continued on none the wiser.

"As do I. I am merely finding evidence of the Council's innocence to clear their name in the eyes of the citizens of the Republic." He turned from her, now finally taking in the library's full glory. "I myself am a little partial to the Jedi…"

His words trailed off as the room darkened and all disappeared. A cloudy vision played before her.

_The planet surface of Telos, Carth gazing out on the restored beach. As he stood though, she lost sight of him just as blood sprayed the water. A splash showed Carth falling lifelessly forward, his eyes glazed over, though staring holes into Revan's inner eye. "Revan' s heart belongs to the dark." Malak spoke, standing over Carth with a double-sided Sith warblade._

"What do you think Miss… er… I didn't catch your…" Mical turned around just in time to catch the fleeting sight of Revan's hair and sighed. "Name."

**(End of Chapter One! Hope you liked it!)**


	2. Mindfreak

**Title: Episode 1.02 Him**

**Chapter: 2, Mindfreak**

**Author: CarthsLostPadawan**

**Summary: After Revan's Force Precognition back at the Enclave, she returns in a hurry to Citadel Station in hopes that she can stop Malak in time.**

**Disclaimer: Must I do these everytime? Nah, not this time... just read the first chapter. You know the drill! ;)**

**Dedicated: To all my lovely adoring fans back at Carth Community. It's because of your guys' persistance that I continue writing these!**

No longer was the landing gear down then Revan was off the ship and flying towards the landing pad door. HK-47 and T3-M4 long forgotten back at the Ebon Hawk, Revan's stance and walk told she was on a mission and that nothing short of a Rancor could hinder her pace. Her mind was a mess of thousands of scenarios and hypothesis; whether she should go petition to the TSF to go planet-side, whether she should just go check their room before she jumped to conclusions... Her heart raced so fast that it oddly seemed like it was at a stand still.

"Revan! Father was wondering where you were. I told him you had an errand to run." Dustil's voice sounded behind her as she passed the Entertainment Module. Dustil had just emerged from the Cantina, an onyx-skinned Twi'lek girl on his arm. There was something in her golden eyes that just screamed to Revan that she couldn't be trusted, something primal even.

"And does he know that you've abandoned your studies to go pick up schutta at the local bar?" She asked, her distain for the alien and for Dustil's lack-of-training annoying her enough to get her to stay put. The woman moved from Dustil, a look of pure shock on her face as she stared down the older Jedi woman.

"You are not my mother and I don't -" Revan put a hand up to stop him.

"No I am not, but I am your Master and you will do as I say." She scowled at him, her temper flaring as she turned her attention to the Twi'lek who had just muttered something... _rude_ for lack of a better word towards Revan. "And I suggest you quiet your smart-mouthed alien girl before she finds herself hanging from the bottom of a frieghter by her headtails."

Turning on her heal she stormed off again, but not before she could use a little bit of the Force to trip the girl who'd truely just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't until she was half way home that she realized in her anger that she had forgotten to ask Dustil just where that illustrious father of his was last. Her nerves back on end, she broke off in a slight run towards the Residential Compartments.

"I'm sorry, Miss. The Admiral left some time ago, in civilian clothes. I don't know him well, so I didn't address him." A TSF official alerted Revan as she came back from her search of the compartment. He must have known she was stressed because he was somewhat careful of his word choice and didn't once stare her in her eyes. It took a second, but Revan realized this and took a couple of shaky breaths.

"It's fine. I'm sure he's probably safe somewhere, right?" She turned from him feeling quite dizzy from the adrenaline that was pumping like a virus through her tired veins. Returning into their room, she let the door shut behind her before she slid down the wall, her face hidden in her hands.

_"Revan, ma'am, we've gotten most of the Mandalorian warcraft. What little are left are on the retreat. Do you wish for us to continue persuit?" Admiral Saul Karath of the Leviathan inquired over the radio-system. Nearly eighty Mandalorian warcraft lay scattered, the shrapnel and other remnants floated hauntingly through space. Revan stood hardened and unfeeling, only a look of contemplation gracing her soft yet pale features. _

_One would thing Revan was growing sick in these days that her skin lost it's color. A little more pigment with each passing day it seemed. There was talk of it all over the barracks; fear that their main driving force, their strategist, would be layed out in bed or worse was everyones shared worries. No one asked her though, yet they ran to Malak with their concerns. Revan was detatched emotionally with her troops and they beleived Malak was the key to getting to her. However, Malak came back with the same flakey answer everytime. "It's the lack of sun out here. We're all looking a bit haggard from being in Space for so long. Her skin just doesn't hold color like ours do."_

_"Well done, Karath. Stand fast." She looked over the numerous screens that were overhead and took a deep breath. Another moment went by and still not a word. However, there was a change in her face. Her silver-blue eyes darted back and forth frantically across the screen, searching for something. "Bring up the radar, Private." _

_A couple of beeps and the sound of keys tapping accompanied a flash on the screen where a giant map of the area graced the center of the screen over all the other displays. Revan's hands moved against it gracefully, cat-like almost, moving star systems here and planets there. "Is there something the matter, ma'am?"_

_"Contact Malak's flagship. Alert them that they are no longer within radar range." There was another silence, some static, then nothing._

_"Gold team, you are out of radar range. Report your location." The private waited and there was nothing. "Gold team, I repeat, you are out of radar rang. Report your location now!" The signal was incomplete, not even reaching the ship. Revan's nervousness emerged fully, her entire body paling as she reached for the call button._

_"Malak! Malak, this is no time for games! You reply right now or I'll-" _

_"Or you'll what? Decline this request to marry you?" A voice statically replied over the advanced two-way. The entire ship was silent as a flicker on the screen showed Malak's ship right nest to Revan's, having been sitting there the entire time._

_Revan fumed for a brief moment, the soldiers around her expecting her to leave her Jedi Training and kill Malak for such a trick in a time of war. However, she narrowed her eyes and played it cool, truely realizing what he had said and playing it off. It was rather odd timing though, she had to admit. She put on her best "upset" voice and replied. "Prepare your airlock, I demand a meeting in your quarters. NOW!" She ended the connection and turned on her heel. _

**Revan! **A stabbing pain in the cranium of the young reformed Jedi tore her from her memories, accompanied by a ghastly wail of her name. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head from the pain, hands clawing at her ears.

**Revan** A blinding white light filled the area, surrounding Revan and taking her away from the Station. She could feel something though... someone familiar...

**Carth! **She cried back having forgotten her reason for returning to the station. Carth needed her, but where was he?

**Revan! He's coming! **A white-hot pain rushed like a flash of lightning through her body, collecting in the front of her head. Her hands flew to it, holding it hard and begging for it to stop. She could barely keep her connection to Carth alive.

**Carth! Where are you! **Hands extended from the white-void, grabbing her, trying to Force her away from him. She struggled, the pain becoming so excruciating that her nose began to bleed.

**No! Revan! **He screamed in pain, sharing it with Revan. Revan lost control, shreiking and lashing out in all directions against those who held her. The white light again grew brighter and once it vanished, Revan found herself on the planet's surface, nose pouring blood, and her head spinning. Before her lay a TSF Officer, the one from the module, dead. Her lightsaber plunged in his chest.

Unknowingst to her, Dustil stood in the shadows, horrified.

**(Is this the return of Darth Revan or just a bad dream? Keep tuned in to find out!)**


End file.
